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Montag, 28. November 2016

außerweltlichkeit

...und nun sitze ich also hier, nach einem weiteren tag, an meinem schreibtisch, rauchend, und tippe diesen text, ohne überhaupt zu wissen, was ich schreiben soll oder will. ich habe nun fast für ein ganzes jahr meine tätigkeit an diesem blog unterbrochen. vielleicht weil ich nichts zu sagen hatte? nein. vielleicht einfach, weil zu vieles geschehen ist, und ich zu sehr damit beschäftigt war, mich selbst neu zu definieren. ich möchte auf die einzelheiten gar nicht weiter eingehen, ich möchte, dass dieser blog (weiterhin) wie ein gedicht außerhalb von raum und zeit existiert, nur meine gedankenwelt erfasst.
ob ich es schaffen werde, das schreiben konsequent fortzusetzen? ich weiß es nicht, kann es nicht versprechen. was ich sagen kann, ist, dass ich es irgendwie mag, mich abends an meinen pc zu setzen und zu beobachten, wie vor meinen augen langsam ein text entsteht. diese momente der stille und (selbst)reflexion sind sehr wertvoll. und ja - vielleicht bereite ich sogar dem einen oder anderen eine kleine freude damit, schaffe auch für andere einen moment der ruhe und der außerweltlichkeit.

Freitag, 15. Januar 2016

she - thirsty as hell

loneliness is the sensation of not feeling loved. enough.
besides the fear to never find home, her biggest fear and biggest insecurity is to not be loved. to be taken more or less randomly for someone to feel less lonely, because her greatest talent is to be able to love and to be very patient. for the rest, she's just a strange 18-year old human being getting stranger every day.
so, she continues giving, spreading love... of course, love is selfless and it is given just to be given, love is what it is. but she doesn't deny that she always, always hopes to get some back but it's always too little for a person like her, thirsty as hell.
she tends to give more and get less and this is destroying her.
lonely as devil down there, not even seen.
where is she?

Donnerstag, 7. Januar 2016

Mittwoch, 6. Januar 2016

a pretty new one about... yes, about what?

When I close my eyes
I can see infinity
when I open them
I lose myself in yours.

The more I try to see
the less I understand
the presence of the past
the essence of the future.

Where am I now
I found myself in the eye of the storm
where there is total calm
I get confused by everything quirling around me.

I'd rather want to be in the middle
feeling everything, not only observing
I'd rather be with those quirly things
accepting that I can't hold anything.

Illusion or reality?
what exists and whats doesn't
doesn't matter at the end
reality is what you think.

Dreams as hope and love
are nothing for the weak
the world belongs to those who cry
and do not fear infinity.

an old one about waiting and about hope

only the moment matters 

like a good song
where the tension
slowly grows and you wait
for the beat to drop
to let go off everything
and feel pure happiness
    
so is life
it goes up and down
good things come slowly
it takes time of calm
to freak out        
and then      

only the moment matters

an old one about not feeling anything anymore

something in me died
autumn's coming
snow is beginning to fall
up there high in the mountains
snow is beginning to fall
even down there deep inside me
hiding what was alive once
but isn't any longer
and still didn't rise like jesus did
this lack of energy  
that turns into deep sadness
nobody here
feeling me
and i am lost       
it is frosty        
at least ice keeps it safe
will it survive
till sun comes up?

Donnerstag, 26. November 2015

può bastare all'uomo l'esistenza?

fino a poco fa non ho ben capito perché la domanda riguardo al senso della vita tocca l'uomo in modo così profondo, perché è inevitabile porsela. ora l'ho capito. ho sempre sentito in me un'irrequietezza indefinita, una tensione a qualcosa di sconosciuto a me, e ho formulato mille teorie su quale potrebbe essere il senso di tutto questo. ma non ho sentito la domanda dentro. erano infantili giochi di pensiero.
fino a quando, ad un certo punto, non ho potuto evitare di imbattermi in mille incongruenze e ammettere che in tutto questo tempo non ho neanche capito una cosa, e più che mai mi sono sentita disorientata.
non possiamo vivere senza capire, ma nemmeno vivendo possiamo minimamente capire.
continuiamo a cercare la felicità senza capire che non possiamo raggiungerla, se non una felicità malinconica, consapevole del dolore che sempre ci sarà e mai cesserà.
se è vero che l'infelicità è dell'uomo, devo ammettere che si ribalta tutta l'immagine che mi ero fatta dell'universo, di questo mondo, dell'uomo e di me stessa.
ogni cosa mi sembra sempre più vana e fugace.
è difficile accettare una cosa che non vuol essere accettata, ma forse è vero: dobbiamo metterci l'anima in pace e accettare la profonda tristezza che è in noi, accettare quella parte che, con la consapevolezza, per forza si spezza.

Donnerstag, 10. September 2015

tra il già e il non ancora

vaghiamo tra il già
e il non ancora
cercando di definire
l'esistente
aspettando il futuro
non capendo.
di stabile c'è solo
il peso del passato
non possiamo avanzare
siamo nani con giganti sulle spalle.
puoi solo sperare di cadere
per poterti liberare
ed arrivare al presente
ma la fiacchezza rimarrà.

Donnerstag, 27. August 2015

momente wie diese

die besten abende
sind abende wie diese
die besten momente
momente wie diese
flüchtig
wie schnell verschwindender rauch
im mondschein   
allein,
auf dieser bank
sanft schaukelnd zu musik
die an laue spätsommerabende erinnert     
die wolken
so weich
die stimme
so sanft 
fast höre ich das rauschen des meeres
wie ein flüstern
und plötzlich ist das genug,
das leben selbst
das so oft schmerzt
und bitter schmeckt.
vergiss niemals, niemals...
die besten abende
sind abende wie diese
die besten momente
momente wie diese
flüchtig
wie schnell verschwindender rauch
im mondschein   
allein,
auf dieser bank...
(im n)irgendwo.
                                             

Sonntag, 23. August 2015

Hello everyone!
I am aware that not only Italians and Germans are following my blog, but also people from USA, Belgium, Switzerland, England and Ukraine (and some more)and it's something that makes me really proud. I wanted to thank all of you for reading my words. I am trying to write always in English because obviously I want all of you to understand my texts. It has always been my purpose to inspire, you know. Anyways, I have found some older texts and poems in German that I would like to publish, even because I don't really have got much time to write at the moment...
I found this poem I wrote two years ago in summer, and somehow I like it. I was inspired by a very heavy illness someone in my family has that really makes him fade away. I prefer not to tell you what I meant with these verses, I prefer to let the Interpretation free to you. Poems should open our minds, and this only happens if we think and do the  interpretation on ourselves.
Thank you again to all the readers out there! You probably are more diligent than I am ;)
with love, Mitsuki





"Fading Away"


Wir spazieren

durch die schwach erleuchteten Straßen

nachdem der blasse Mond mich ans Fenster lockte

und du mich aus der Dunkelheit ansahst.

Seit heute, für immer, deine Stimme so nah, dein Körper so fern.

 

Ich schleiche

durchs leere Haus

eine schlaflose Nacht,

das Knarren der Dielen der einzige Klang.

Das Feuer ist aus, das Fenster zu, die Schritte zu leise, die Stille so laut.

 

Du

bist nicht

was mir nimmt

was ich

bin

 

Und ich sehe meinen Arm

nicht mehr,

Und ich bewege mein Bein,

nicht mehr,

Und ich fühle mein Herz….. …. … .. (nicht mehr) .